L to R: Lemonade, Green Tea, Singaporean Coffee (say klassno 3 times, and it comes out pretty funny), Black Tea, Milk, Bear Brand cereal and Honey.
A while back...while the Board exams were but a 2 months away, one of the doctors who was lecturing in a review class said, "Do you know that the number 40 is a very significant number? Jesus fasted for forty days and forty nights..."
He, in short, was saying that anything significant needed 40 days to prepare for. And, for this board exams, we only needed to work hard on the 40th day before the big one.
And that, dear friends, is today.
The 29th of June... :-)
(Guess what, I'm talking in my sleep and grinding my teeth again.)
(The taxi guy posted this on his taxi's window. Influenza A (H1N1) was declared pandemic. I seriously doubt this could help. But still...it could work. A little.)
It was way past 2AM when I turned off the lights before crawling into bed.
I had already settled in when my sleeping roommate in the top bunk suddenly began groaning... first, it sounded like a sorrowful, frustrated, soft moan that crescendoed into a loud groan and she started kicking too. It would have been funny had I not been a scaredy cat.
I whispered to my other classmate who was in the other bottom bunk, "What was that?? Should we wake her?" I asked anxiously. My mind was considering a possible demonic possession happening right above my bunk.
When she came to, she said that she was dreaming that someone was trying to steal chickens (they didn't have any) from their place, and that there were also kids in Mission Impossible garb that she was trying to fight off too.
Anxiety dreams...
After prayer time last night, my other classmates were joking about how they were starting to hear each other talk in their sleep, or thrashing, kicking and even yelling out. Teeth grinders raised hands.
I'm not alone, after all...In the recent days, another of my roommates got scared because when she was up late studying (the rest of us in the room were sleeping), she heard me start talking in my sleep. She got scared silly, afraid that the next time she turned, instead of being asleep in bed, I'd be by her side, wild-eyed, with hair raised, foaming in the mouth and grabbing at her leg (or worse).
(Exagg...) I do talk in my sleep, they say. There were other episodes, and on top of that, I'd be grinding my teeth. My (favorite) Psychiatry textbook said that teeth grinding or bruxism was found in 5-10% of the population and required no treatment, except of course, maybe teeth-guards/plates to protect the teeth during sleep.
Also, since they can't understand nor speak my dialect (I was a natural-born Cebuano, they speak Hiligaynon ), they really have no idea what I talk about (Thank heavens.hehe) Although, one time, they said that I said out loud, "You're just being kind...", and chuckled about it, because, even in my sleep, I'd still be speaking English.
Bad dreams, nightmares, sleep-talking, bruxism, are said to be manifestations of anxiety. With the "Mother of All Exams" coming up in less than 50 days, and closing in fast, I wouldn't be surprised if bad dreams and teeth grinding get more frequent among us. I'm expecting someone to start sleep-walking any day now...
According to Freud, anxiety dreams are a failure of the normal dream mechanisms of displacement, condensation, etc., to control the dreamer's state, where symbolism is supposed to mask the patient's drives, frustrations so that release is still possible, and that sleep won't be disrupted.
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Contrary to popular belief, sleep talkers do not reveal secrets in their sleep. If they were to talk lengthily, it is usually about life events. One time, I remember my father reciting lines from an Edgar Allan Poe poem in his sleep when we were younger... talk about cool sleep-talking. lol.
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P.S. I write more when I'm stressed and anxious. Don't be surpised to see me here more often.
In my past blog entry, I metaphorically compared eating raw fish with sex. In retrospect, I regret to say that that would not be the case. I'm sure ahemcarnal relations of the good kind may be mindblowingly outstanding (I suppose), but in this case, eating sushi the day after you want it so badly is like owning a little bit of heaven, especially at Kimono Ken's...
Sushi Morawase (Sashimi sampler)
Spicy Maguro (Fresh tuna with special spicy sauce)
And, my reason for breathing... Shake ( Salmon Sashimi)
Kimono Ken offered a menu that was "Enticingly Japanese. For Less." It was a bit more than I'd usually pay on my current allowance, but hey, it was well worth it, for an occasional splurge. I was giddy with glee even until after the last bite.
I'm plugging mercilessly (for free), but you should really try it. There's a Kimono Ken on Tomas Morato, one in SM NOrth Ave. (that's where we went to), at the Podium, and the Shang. :-)
I have an ardent desire for raw fish...the kind that you eat with chopsticks, smother with wasabi, and enjoy with gusto. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I can down the stuff like a man.
If left alone to my devices at an "eat all you can" buffet, I would willingly heap my plate and come back for seconds...even thirds.
Some people would find the sensation of eating raw fish revolting, and would not even touch the stuff, but I have no problems with that. I always thought that raw fish was an acquired taste anyway.
I crave it now.
I crave it like it was a necessary drug, to satisfy the intense need of my senses, I'm craving it like a hungry man craves his first bite of food after days of hunger... I crave it like a nymphomaniac craves sex... Like a lovelorn spinster desires her first wet kiss... Like a mortal sinner craves absolution.
:-)
I want that cool, soft flesh, it's pink luscious smoothness on my tongue, and I can't wait to feel that sharp sting of fresh green wasabi in the my mouth, the final few seconds before it slides pleasureably down my throat, the act of eating itself, a sweet surrender to the magic that is sushi.
Raw fish brings back many memories... family get-togethers in my childhood were always about laughter and bowls of raw fish in coconut milk, seasoned with spices and vinegar and lots of chili pepper. There was also a grand time when my aunt and cousin went out and feasted on heaps of Japanese food until we were so full we could barely move. It also reminds me of a time when I waited expectantly, intently watching an ex-love's face, while he tasted the first bites of this delightfully strange dish, waiting for approval.
Ah, memories...
One of my classmates at the review center knows of this Japanese restaurant near Don Bosco, in Makati where the food is so good...even Japanese people eat there. We're all planning to go out after the boards and totally drown our frustrations in the cuisine...
*sigh* I actually can't wait, but I do know I have to, because there simply isn't any substitute...
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(Oh, and if you're from Dumaguete, you should try the Tuna Sashimi at Casablanca. It tastes so good, better than chocolate and sex (I think.) haha.)
The past few days have been quite dramatic and life-changing, not just for me, but mostly for someone I know especially well. He just recently became a father and overnight, these heavy responsibilities are going to start getting heavier and heavier on his shoulders.
As much as I want to be there for him, I cannot do so because I am utterly incapable and secondly, I am not sure whether I will be able to help him as much.
I promised him, jokingly (but I meant it), that if I were a big-time doctor, already, his little girl could have anything her little heart ever wished for, and all she had to do was ask me.
I suppose the thrill of fatherhood is still keeping him buoyed up and exhilirated. His little girl is himself in all aspects, down to the mouth and earlobes. It must be something for a man to see his own likeness in his offspring.
This is a bittersweet secret...one that will be known by all anytime soon. For his sake, I hope it will be soon because he's going to need all the help he can get.
The other night, my best friend and her classmate invited me to the French film festival at the Shang in EDSA. Apparently, it was an exclusive invites-only affair for the Allianz des Francaise, with everyone all dressed up in formal and semi-formal finery. We didn’t know anyone (well, I did, I saw one of my old college schoolmate who was there, but I doubt if she were part of the organizers), so we decided to cook up some excuse as to why we should be there. One storyline was that we were film students from UP… another was that we were there as connoisseurs…
(laughs) In the end, we didn’t need to do any of that…we just managed to sneak in anyway, but following a couple of dignitaries who were followed by the press. We pretended to be part of the press people and snapped our way in too (of course, I had my camera with me.).
We of course didn’t mean any disrespect to the organizers, but since we admission was free, we decided to give it a go. We just about had enough seats for 3, and no one complained, so all in all, it was one adventure that we were glad to have undertaken.
Great visuals, great narration…the only environmental movie that I’ve seen so far that’s not too overbearingly pessimistic. An Inconvenient Truth was abruptly frank, and scary, but this one was refreshing in that, not only did it have the best visuals I’ve seen so far, it was vividly clear and very representative of our Earth and the environment today. Unlike the other film, they showed things to be positive about, such as advances in Carbon processing in Denmark, work done by non-government agencies,wind farms, the use of solar energy... I could go on and on.
The Shang
Some celebs we saw at the opening ceremonies.
Alex De Rossi is pretty and photographs well.
I was star-struck...he was the Best Director at Cannes! :-p
The dignitaries in their finery...well,some of them, anyway.:-p
French films at the Shang.
I like foreign films., and films in general. So this was a perfect way to cap a day.
The movie was made by a French photographer who made aerial shots of different places all over the world. I read before that this was one of the most expensive projects ever undertaken. I didn’t know that they would be showing this particular film, so I feel extremely lucky for having seen it that night.
My friend was optimistic that they wouldn’t throw us out once we were seated.:-p
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I had this revelation earlier this morning after church… an epiphany of sorts. Nowadays, when I have a problem, or if something is troubling me…I usually think now that whatever problem I’m facing is usually just temporary and if anything, quite trivial.
Growing up gives you a better vantage point on things…and lately, I’ve realized that disappointments will always be there, and whatever stupid things you do can be chalked off as a learning experience.
I honestly don’t know how to articulate this, but coming to this realization has made it easier for me to deal with the nuances of daily living.
Before anything else, I’d like to give a big belated happy birthday Hi and Hello to my old friend Chules who celebrated her 28th, and my cousin Christian, who celebrated his 29th (plus 5? Hehe!). He’s in Cubao, and probably had a big party, which I more or less…missed out on.
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Today is my 9th day in Manila (yes, that fast), and I’ve been to both review centers, Dr. Toom’s “Cracking the Boards” Review Center as well as to the UST Medical Board review classes as a, well, a visitor.
Actually, they have signs where they have say “No ID, No Entry”, but from what I’ve observed in the last few days, that’s not a strict ruling. I’ve got it down pat, and I think that basically, if you act like you belong there, there’s a good chance that you can pull it off. :-p Why, one time, I even had one of the guards greet me, “Good Morning, Ma’am”, with matching smile pa, as they let us through. Hehe. He couldn’t have possible known that I was just a visitor, that I was using my roommate’s ID and that I didn’t pay the Php 12,500 review tuition fee.
Like I always say, “sa pag-carry lang man na ah”. I kinda feel a bit guilty whenever I go there in my free time, thinking it’s unfair to those who paid the tuition in full, but my friends tell me that it’s no biggie because not everyone attends anyway. People just pick who they want to listen to…otherwise, they just pack their bags and go home to read on their own. And besides, I don’t get any of the handouts anyway. That would be overkill. :-p
(There, guilty feelings, begone! )
One of our reviewers said that during review time, we should be like sponges…absorbing every little tidbit that comes our way when we prepare for the board exams…which we will promptly forget once they’re over in August. ;-p That was cute. I feel “spongy”, though, during these review lectures…I’m usually in the front-ish part, 4th row center, and I lean forward every time, hanging on to the speaker’s every word. Like last time, we had a neuro-psychiatrist (or was he just a psychiatrist who gave a lecture in neurology?) who lectured, and being the neuro-psychiatry freak that I am, I was leaning forward in my seat, craning my neck, and making eye contact whenever he’d be asking questions/making statements in our direction.
I even got to ask him after the lecture. Olanzapine (Zyprexa), an atypical antipsychotic was good for negative symptom schizophrenics because it delayed brain degradation. Hehe. That, I learned, and other interesting stuff besides. :-D
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You know, I’m actually enjoying all this study time I’m having. It’s blissful to not have to worry about anything else, but just learn and relearn.
To not be under any pressure, to not have to worry about other people, and to have economic freedom…hehe, it’s almost like a vacation. I’m just taking it easy…currently, my life is all about the board exams. I’m not entertaining any hanky panky, or anything unnecessarily taxing, these days, by choice.
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Well, I better get back to work…a big Gracias to my classmate Morin who loaned me his laptop so I could do my “necessary vice” , blogging. My 11 year-old refurbished Fujitsu , which I brought with me here in Manila, (a second-hand laptop from my Kuya Pete, which Pop put an XP OS in) has finally breathed it’s last.
I think, more than anything else, I would need a new laptop. Need. Not want. J Anyway, I’m pretty optimistic, it could work.
I’m channelling Rhonda Byrnes’ “The Secret” vibes now. Haha. (May the Universe hear my call for a new laptop...”OOohhhmmmm…Ohhh…)
