Video: "No U Hang Up"

Sometime ago, I was talking to my friend Ant about the general feeling of being "giddy" about someone... this Shayne Ward song is the epitome of that...sensation. :-)

It's an old-ish song, maybe about a year old, and I just happened to include it in my playlist. My cousin Christo says the whole Shayne Ward album is really good, so I might go check that out as well T(his is getting heavy rotation on my player, by the way.)

I listen to a lot of songs on the commute to work, and this is one of those on the "repeat" list. :-) Playlist songs always mean something in one way or another, and I think this was one of the songs I was listening to one day while I was riding the bus. It reminded me of someone and it had me similing (unintentionally)...which got me thinking that I might have sent the wrong message to the bemuscled hombre who took the seat next to me in the bus. Funnily enough, I noticed that he seemed to sit closer than usual and even waved goodbye to me when he got off the bus. And I don't think I look ed his way once, as I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts. 


(OR...I'm just assuming that he thought I was smiling at him, when in reality, he really was just a friendly guy, right? )


Riiight. :-p

Now, this song might not necessarily be posted up here because of any one person,(although, i t might not anymore) but like all my other songs, it does bring back a good memory. It is a good song, that, "like any good song, takes you back to the time when you first heard it...and it broke your heart".

Good night... :-)

~ S.

Photo 2: Loudly, Proudly Vulnerable

 

"Loudly, proudly, 'Vulnerable'." (January 16th, 2010) 

 I saw this lady standing on the terrace overlooking Mag-Aso Falla in Kabankalan, Negros Occidental  when we went there last Saturday. This, ladies and gents, is the fashionable equivalent of "wearing one's heart on one's sleeve", don't you think? :-) Would you wear this jacket?

Linked: Leasalonga.net

One of my posts was linked to at Lea Salonga's site. Cool. :-)

Photo: "The Man-Made Lake" Highland Resort, Mabinay, Negros Oriental

Man-made and set right smack in the middle of the mountains, this little resort is a common picnic place for families, as well as a setting for meetings and seminars. The green water is not very inviting, but the kayaking is good. :-p The place in general (there are more lakes) is really nice, bordered by trees and wide wide open spaces and peaceful foliage.

Last weekend, when we went there, while separating from my friends and taking pictures (as usual), I had the vague feeling of it being my  Walden Pond, sans the tourists. :-)

The case of the lovable Midget

"I've fallen in love with a cutie, who is boy who is soft, cute, loves to cuddle and also smells like milk," I told a friend of mine one day.

I added, "He's also just about 2 feet tall and has no mummy and daddy here..."

"He has dwarfism?" he asked.

No,no no, I laughed. I hadn't fallen in love with a touchy-feely midget, I said, he was a patient who had been admitted while I was on-duty that night.

I was manning the hospital and in a came a worried grandmother who said that her grandson was coughing so hard and that they hadn't had any sleep because of it. And so I walk over to see the patient better and try to examine him more fully.

Now, being me, I know I have a weakness for  babies/infants/toddlers...kids in general who were in distress. I don't know, but it's just an emotional thing. I suppose it's something of a maternal instinct that I've always had whenever I'm face to face with a pediatric patient (preferably under 2 feet tall,haha).

My little patient was perfectly still, looking at me with big, innocent baby eyes, well-behaved and calm. The only bit of difficulty that was visible was his fast breathing and almost imperceptible flaring of his little (itty-bitty) nostrils. His cherubic curls and seemingly silent plea for relief, he had me. I had fallen in love.

Before I signed out of duty a few hours after, I saw him outdoors in the shade, catching a little sun with his nannies (his parents weren't there), who were taking turns holding his IV bottle raised over their head. He still had a pretty bad cough and I almost worried a little about how I managed him, wondering whether I made a mistake, or missed something.

I was thinking about his case up until I got home, and then later, I worried about the little tot.

I looked forward to checking his progress when I got back to the hospital for another tour of duty 2 days after. I was still deep in thought that I almost stumbled upon something that blocked walked in my path when I entered the hospital doors.  It was my two foot tall little man. 

He walked up to me, stopped for a while, looked in my face with his cute baby eyes and then walked away. I chuckled. He was better, after all, no hint of difficulty or distress, looking very adorable in his baby-sized New York Knicks jersey with "SPREWELL" across the back, walking like a dignified little man, except for, well, of course, the fact that he only had diapers underneath it.

One time, when I was making rounds, I spied him toddling about the space where he was undergoing nebulization, holding the mask to his face, all by himself. He had his nannies standing by, of course, but basically, he was holding the thing on his own, looking at this and that, stopping here and there. 

I thought it was cute so I walked over and tried to take a picture of him using my camera phone. He edged closer to me, and then would stop, and then would take another step closer and then would stop, until finally, he handed over the mask to his nanny and sat on my lap and "posed", like he wanted to have our picture taken.

Haha. It tugged at my hearstrings. That was just funny. 

On lighter, less busy times, I'd go over to his room and check on him and his progress. He'd have me carry him, and would just lean on me, playing with my bead bracelet of many colors (which I sometimes use to purposely distract kids when I'm examining them) while I sat him down on my lap when I took a break. 

------- 

For a while, I had entertained going into pediatrics as a specialty choice, what with my natural preference for kids and what not. (and that  kids  and their worried parents were always going to need doctors, haha). However, in recent times, I had some epiphanies about it, and I decided against it. As advised, it wasn't that good to go into something you're going to become overly emotional about.  That doesn't change the fact that I love babies and kids, though (heck, I'm having 4 of my own in the future!).

------

By the way, "Sprewell" got discharged well and improved, but I didn't get to say goodbye, because I was busy delivering a baby in the delivery room that time...I have a picture of me and him, though, so it was just as well.  As much as I like him, I hope I won't be seeing him in my hospital again. 

No to stress for little kids! :-)

~ yours,

S.

Holmes, Watson, and Cute Couplehood

Guy Ritchie's version of my favorite detective blew me away. :-) I was on the edge of my seat the whole time... His version of Holmes as a scruffy but sexy, hypersharp sleuth with the keenest sense for miles around was a run ride, so not at all like the suave gentleman from Baker Street that I have often read about.

(Although, watching the movie has made me want to purchase this book, finally...)

...which, I believe, will be chock-full of Holmes stories and adventures that I have always loved. :-) I like Adventures, and Superhero stories, so Holmes in his almost supernatural "powers" of observation is as much of a superhero as they come.

Arthur Conan Doyle was a physician, and he employed his experiences in physical diagnosis to make Holmes come alive and be more realistic when it came to solving crimes, a very clever combo, and I might add, a very impressive way of coming up with stories.

Rachel McAdams certainly held her own, but...

it was Holmes and Watson (the good doctor) who made a cute couple. haha. It was such fun watching them exchange banter. It's like, you become too familiar with someone, everything else becomes routine and you start to know what the other person needs even without them asking for it.

Hence, the cute couple effect. :-p

Still, I think Robert Downey, Jr. was a good choice as Holmes...I never did think of Holmes as being too uptight and hoity toity a man...he was bound to be rough, ruggedly handsome, wise in the ways of the world, but still, with a charming vulnerability that was almost very covert, thinly covered by a sheen of sarcastic humor and dry wit.

Loved him. Especially the parts where Holmes explains things. It made me give out an intellectually pleasurable, "Aha..."

(And might I mention that Jude Law has the sharpest cheekbones of any Watson I know? I always thought that Dr. Watson was a roly-poly little character, with chubby cheeks....and certainly not matinee idol bone structure. ;-). I'm not complaining, though. Nuh-uh. ;-))

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On another note, I had some hash browns this afternoon, after a bad craving for it last night. lol... yummy. potatoes just the way I liked it. :-)

 

Cave weekend

The guide said that it would take a year for these stalactites to grow a millimeter...just think how long they've been here. amazing!

Concert Pics: Lea Salonga, Your Songs

 

The concert was held at the Cebu Waterfront Hotel, last January 10th, 2010.

 

I found out that our seats were closer...but had a smaller viewer angle as opposed to the stage. (Actually, the people at the balconies (Php 500) had a better view, albeit they were farther away.)

 

We got there about an hour early, 'cause one of my titas mentioned that people had already started lining up, and since it was "free seating", we had to be early to get "the best" of the Php 900 seats.  (My cousin Chris and I(in this picture) amused ourselves by taking pictures. He didn't get to bring his SLR, though, which I think, he regrets up to now. haha.)

 

Ooh...nice jacket. :-) This chic lady was in the Php 3500 seat...way up front. The lemon yellow was very noticeable, so Cory and Noynoy. 

Lea Salonga, in the flesh. 

She really is as good as they say... :-)

You know what, she had a sold-out concert at Carnegie Hall, daw, and since we can't all be at Carnegie Hall, this is the closest we can get to. When I found out that she was performing just a 3 hour ride from where I was (and I was off-duty at the hospital), I just jumped at the chance. 

Her brother Gerard Salonga, the musical director is an absolute musical genius. He was as impressive as her, when he was conducting the orchestra from his post. He had sheets and sheets of music in front of him....pounding on the keys and in crucial moments, would stand up and wave his arms powerfully to and fro, directing the orchestra (FilHarmoniKa). Props!

So, it's pretty understandable that I would be watching in rapt attention in my seat. But of course. :-)

(Alternately, I would watch, then take pictures, then take a video, then watch, then sing along, then take more videos...but mostly, I just, well, marveled.) :-)

She also performed a tribute to Michael Jackson, singing "Gone Too Soon", and calling him as The Greatest Performer that ever lived". :-)

Comedienne Ai Ai de las Alas was there too, and she really got things going. My cousin said that before she was there, things were more sedate, but when she came on stage, you could feel the room come alive. :-p  That was the first time I saw her perform live, and she really is hilarious.

(Extra: Two spotlights. One for you, and one for me...)

(....Or would you prefer we get two each? haha.)

------------------------------------- 

As I had previously mentioned, I hadn't watched Lea Salonga's concert the last time (regrettably), so I was really happy that I got to have the chance this time around. I've always been a big Lea Salonga fan (as I am of musicals and theater), and although most of my singing is relegated to choirs and the bathroom, she is just a joy to imitate (or at least dream about imitating, haha).

She's got great pipes, that's a given, but what I also like about her is that she is very articulate and smart. Her in-between-songs mini-speeches and anecdotes were well-timed and very entertaining. I always liked listening to her talk.  She's really pretty, too.

My favorite part was when she did her songs from her musicals, especially On My Own, and I Dreamed a Dream, including that very vocally acrobatic song from Wicked. Totally amazing.

The song I liked most, though was the one she serenaded her husband Rob Chien with (it was their 6th year anniversary) that night. It was a beautiful song, really. Very...gentle, and was about constancy in love, and not having any regrets. at all. :-) Trust me, it was very nice.

It was a great experience, really, well worth the wait. :-p The initial disappointment of just Almost  getting to watch her from two years back, when I was still in Iloilo was totally forgotten. After the concert, I walked around like a goofy fan, repeatedly saying, "Wow...".

Anyway, I have duty tomorrow, so it's an early bedtime for me. I hope you guys enjoy the pics. :-)

Love,

~ S.

Today's 10 (With Lea Salonga at the Bottom)

    Last weekend at BookSale, I checked out this thick, hardbound textbook, a manual on writing (American) which had a chapter on a technique called "Freewriting".

    Freewriting is a prelude to writing (the real thing), where the writer puts his or her thoughts together before collating and then editing (and then re-editing, followed by more editing).

The book said that he best ways to do it would be either of the two:

     1. getting a blank sheet of paper and a trusty pen, and just writing out whatever random thought or idea comes to mind, OR,

     2. Sitting in front of a computer, turning it off, and just typing away on the keys, letting ideas flow, without seeing them.


     (I actually attempted to close my eyes while writing this. LOL.)



      It's actually hard to just free-write. For most active netizens, who regularly post online, it's probably always something of a challenge to come up with something novel that they can share with the general public, or of those in their reader lists. It may be occasionally hard to shake off the feeling of having an audience in mind. Subconsciously, you are tailoring your words for a bigger audience, so there will be editing (and reediting) even before your words come out onscreen.

I read Kurt Vonnegut, and he said in the first few pages of one book that he  actually thought of his mother when he wrote a book (he said, and I paraphrase "Good writing is accomplished with an audience in mind.")

( But seriously now, who wants to read what I've "freewritten" anyway?  :-p (No, it's ok, you don't have to tell me. haha) It's not edited, it's mainly a list, and may not be as ZEN-like an experience if it were more well-thought of, but just in case I won't have time to write another one, this'll have to do.

     At any given time, I usually have a thought, or a memo or a little note that I want to remember, or an idea that I want to talk/write about, but I usually don't have the time to do everything, so they get lost to oblivion...or maybe to the Dream Library. *wink, wink* (NB: The Sandman, Neil Gaiman)

    "He who does not have a good memory puts it down on paper...", so went Dr. Juvenal Urbino in GG Marquez' book, "Love in the time of Cholera". And so, to be quick, I've decided to list down 10 thoughts...

1.   For the best massages and ambience, you should all try the  Royal Spa,  near St. Paul's...the place is nice, has a minty smell, has swell Lazyboys and has quite a good price (although, Ma paid for mine. LOL)

2. I don't like massages as much as my Ma does, 'cause I tickle easily, especially at the lumbosacral area and my thighs. Instead of "relaxing", I "tighten" up and try to not "wriggle around" too much instead and have to bury my face in a pillow to keep from laughing out loud, or giggling.


3. Reflexology hurts too. Ick. I'm not a big fan, although my cousin swears by it (my aunties with him).

4. I had a fun conversation with an old lady patient at rounds last night, after I was done examining her, I stayed a few minutes more because she was quite an interesting old lady, well-traveled and poised, she told me that she used to write articles for the Philippine Free Press and was currently writing her memoirs. She told me that she had won their provincial christmas 2009 party's "Best Dressed Senior Citizen", and that she had had a long full life (she was 82) and was ready to die anytime.

A very groovy granny, mind.

5. I want to see more Glee.

6. " Love is the only freedom in the world because it so elevates the spirit that the laws of humanity and the phenomena of nature do not alter its course." - Kahlil Gibran, The Broken Wings.

7. I'm reading two books today, I started "The Lost Symbol" by Dan Brown on the bus this morning, and I just finished "The Broken Wings" by Kahlil GIbran. The former is so factual, while the latter is thinner and more whimsical, but nevertheless, I was blown away by the picturesque speech (as usual). :-)

8. This work of Kahlil Gibran, called The Broken Wings, is something you want to read when you're fully awake, sated with food and water, non-skeptical, open-minded, and optimistic about love and falling... because you would want to take his prose in deep.

His words and lines were so simply written but hauntingly beautiful. (I was reading on the dining table earlier, my favorite spot to read because it is just ergonomic, and I can take out my journal and fountain pen or just copy down a few of his beautiful phrases and rhymes just so I could marvel at his exquisite sentences... Like for example, he was talking about a sunset the first time he saw her to  seen his paramour Selma, and he went like this, "The day passed fast in that garden, and I could see through the window the ghostly yellow kiss of sunset on the mountains of Lebanon." I read that out to Ma, and I sighed, because I liked how he used his metaphors and similes. Just exquisite...but there's more, of course.

9. On the right-hand side of this page, there's a Mar Roxas ad that's been amusingly "Facebook-ified".  The campaign slogan is so cheesy, really, because they tried to work the popular facebook games such Mafia wars and Farmville into it... i.e. "I'm Mar. Not exactly a Farmville fantasy but will work for a better economy. And no more to Mafia Wars-like crimes and deals."  The dude has a point, yes, but it STILL is a corny slogan.

10. I'M GOING TO SEE LEA SALONGA'S CONCERT IN CEBU ON SUNDAY!!! FINALLY!!! :-)

     The closest thing I got to seeing a Lea Salonga concert was way back in January 2008, when I was still doing my clerkship year (4th year) in Iloilo City. She was going to perform at the Centennial and tickets were selling at 1500, 2500, and up. I figured I'd get the cheapest one and just go anyway, so I saved up for it some days before the thing. When I went to the ticket place a couple of days before the event to get a ticket, i was told that they didn't have any more 1500 tickets left....2500 na lang daw.

Hu Hu Hu. I didn't have the heart to ask a loan for something quite as trivial as a concert ticket. And so... here I am now, watching two years later instead. :-p

(Actually, it's funnier if i tell how it went in my own dialect, because this retelling just makes me look pathetic, but hey, you get the idea. I was thisclose that time... but now, it's a sure thing, so it's all good...:-p)

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Everything in its own good time, I suppose. That last time, none of my friends/housemates wanted to go, I think, so I was probably going to hack it alone if I got to go then. This time, I'll be going with my two Titas and cousin Chris, so it's more fun... the timing is just perfect.

(Ecclesiastes is the "BomB-Diggety". LOL)

~

S.

Chicken Butt (and other mall snaps.)

Chicken butt, and carbonara...probably makes for an interesting meal combo. I don't know...

So...when you really need one, and can't find the right-sized coin, you just smash the glass with the hammer....in case of emergencies? ;-)

 

And, my favorite..."Brain freeze" (but isn't that the last thing you want in a cold drink, though? :-p cute.)

i ain't missing you

 i found this on my cousin's phone's playlist.
. and i've been playing it on the bus ride home.

i just like it. it reminds me of something nice.

the version on my player.

I like...

I like: didgeridoo music, Bob Marley remixes, perfect grammar, Booksale, quirky, simple movies like Juno (which I watched tonight), Fountain pens, and funny people, vanilla macaroon-flavored ice cream and thoughtfulness.

I don't like: being nagged, not being able to say no when I think it'll hurt the other people's feelings, being taken for granted, and being misunderstood.

I want you to know: that this year is going to be one of adventure and learning, and that I'll try to make wiser choices now.

I've planned: to read Lord of the Rings (all three books), not think too much, to avoid being like Gigi on He's just not into you, be more considerate with other people, play tennis on a more regular basis, join the Emergency Medical Team, deliver all the babies that come on my tour of duty, and sleep more on off days. Also, go to Boracay, HongKong and CDO for the rafting fun my co-PGI's told me about, all before September. :-)

I want to say to someone special: that I think I may have had my heart broken unintentionally and incompletely...which pretty much stings all the same, anyway.:-s

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I found this pretty interesting game on Russ's blog. The Toothfairy thought it up...it's cute, and well, it helps you remember things to write about. Even if they were as random as mine above. :-p

(I had a dream about a tooth fairy once. Up until now, I didn't see any reference to it. This was a funny re-encounter, but I'm not reading anything into this "sign" anymore. It's time to move on. :-p)

Santas at the Pedia Ward

 

My classmates and I spent this afternoon giving out food and grocery items to patients and their families at the Pediatrics ward of the provincial hospital. It was Daryl and JP's idea, and we all pitched in. It was a fun way to spend thanksgiving for the new year.

(Hi to Daryl, JP, Tonton, Bekay, Ivy, Heidi, Hervic, and even Cheska and Alex (Ivy's little girls) who also helped out giving presents... Ooh, and I almost forgot...Barney was there too!)

Next year ulit? It's a date.

love, 

S.

My New 2010 Journal

Meet my new journal for 2010, freshly-handed to me by a dear friend who I do girl-talk with, among others. haha. :-)

So fitting. So bagay with the self-improvement, and "adventure!" drive i'm going with this new year. haha.

Merci Beaucoup! :-)

Serenity

"Serenity", the word, came to mind while I was standing in the chilly, crisp early morning air, on this first ever morning of the new year...

I found this poem by RMR tonight.

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Dove that ventured outside,        flying far from the dovecote:
housed and protected again,     one with the day, the night,
knows what serenity is,              for she has felt her wings
pass through all distance and fear       in the course of her wanderings.

The doves that remained at home,     never exposed to loss,
innocent and secure,               cannot know tenderness;
only the won-back heart              can ever be satisfied: free,
through all it has given up,                to rejoice in its mastery.

Being arches itself                 over the vast abyss.
Ah the ball that we dared,     that we hurled into infinite space,
Doesn’t it fill our hands            differently with its return:
heavier by the weight             of where it has been.

Rainer Maria Rilke (1875 - 1926)

Source: Ahead of All Parting: The Selected Poetry and Prose of Rainer Maria Rilke (Modern Library) (English & German Edition)

     Serenity was foremost on my list of wishes for this new year.

   

Why, when I was wandering around the grounds very early on this first day of the new year, I had a lot on my mind.  Why was I here? Could I really last as long as I need to in this...hmm, very quiet place? :-p

After a relatively "sedate" new year's celebration, I didn't get the mangled extremities or blown off fingers that I was picturing in my head (the three maulings don't count), I was starting to feel a little lonely.

I remember how exciting it was to work with a whole team of people...and to have a full ER in a tertiary hospital, ready with everything you will ever need. Surely, it was the rush I was after, the adrenaline surge in your bloodstream upon seeing (or even anticipating) all that damage, and knowing you can do something about it.

So maybe I'm exaggerating the situation a bit (because lately, that hasn't been the case in hospital ER's), but you get the picture. It's always fun when  the numbers are bigger, and everyone's getting into the act.

And so, while walking around, breathing the fresh air, and just, well, thinking, I realized how much I've missed "tertiary life", how much I missed my friends from school and how much I've been pausing to think lately.

The past year was quite a ride, you know. Like I've said before, it was a rollercoaster ride, with it's impossibly high crests, but also seriously low lows... I didn't think i was going to hit the ground running, after all that I've had to deal with in the past few months. Perhaps I decided to do this to "pace myself" because I had a bigger goal in mind, eventually. I could have joined the bandwagon and gone into residency training immediately, but it didn't feel right to do so yet, and besides, I wanted to earn some spending money for really important things.

My current job offers a feeling of serenity, one that I haven't had for a while now, so while I'm putting all the pieces together and saving up for something, I think I need to stick to what I had planned to, in the first place.

Besides, I believe that what everything always works out in the end. To a certain extent, knowing that I'm not settling yet on this job (It's not a "forever" job) gives me the confidence to stick it out because I know that there'll be something else in store (It keeps the occasionally tedious monotony to a minimum,admittedly).

We'll see what happens in the next few weeks. I had promised a year of adventure, learning, change...and well, maybe less drama. :-p

Happy New Year.

May you find your serenity too.