Soft seats

Hello.

Welcome to the unedited, conversational edition of the last-minute madness, which only I, Sonia, erstwhile Med-School Thera Group Presentation Amazon Princess character can do with typical Sonia style.

It is actually 2:30 in the morning, but for some reason (and probably because earlier, I had napped on the couch while my friend Loreen worked on her thing on the dining table :-)), I cannot sleep anymore. I haven't the energy to do more thorough reading of my Schizophrenia notes, which I really should, so, I decided to just have another couch sessions conversation with my loyal friend readers.

Hmm....

What fun stuff did I do today?

1. I got to taste Baklava from Greece, which, I have to say is quite an experience. It's got chocolate, lots of sugar, and flaky pastry. My friend Gen Yap was giving it away as one of her souvenirs from her very recent Grecian cruise holiday. Oh, and she got me a key holder...a silver teddy bear with the Grecian flag stamped across its chest. Pretty cool. :-)

2. I pretty much spent much of the evening with Joe and Gen, and we watched "One Day". It was a good movie (and Joe couldn't give a correct assessment, as he said, he was biased 'cause Anne Hathaway was in it.), and apart from the kilig moments that went on, I have to say it was an absorbing film. Well, like any other girlaloo, i'd want the characters to end up being happy together, making babies and all that...stuff. :-p Well, it was a love story almost 15 years in the making...a veritable tug-of-war of emotions (gosh, I love these troubled characters) until, of course, the love affair climaxes, but not quite.

*sigh*


No spoilers here, of course, unless you really want to watch the movie for yourself, I will keep my thoughts on the scenes to myself.

She, Anne Hathaway's character, always knew from the start, that she wanted the guy. He didn't. It had to take him a long long time to realize that he needed her, loved her, even. (I suppose girls are infinitely wiser when it comes to matters of the heart, then? :-p) Jim Sturgess, the guy, was cute. adorable. and all that stuff you would want in a guy. but he was slow. he tried to make things work somehow, but it didn't really work.

Of course, I cried my usual (secret) tears at the end of the movie. I don't really know why I still do these things...movies are movies, escapist fare that we all engage in to feel better, or to have fun. I suppose I cried because I felt for them. (I always do.) Unrequited/Unexpressed love for years, and then when everything does happen, something happens to her.

:-(

(Anyway, in the UK, unrequited sounds like the Kwai in the movie The Bridge over the River Kwai, whereas, in the States, it sounds more of the quit in quitting. :-p Just sharing a little factoid.)

3. I hung out with Gen and Joe and we had a great pasta dinner at Ravioli , which is a pretty good pasta place at the midtown wing of the mall. I suppose I'll be going back there every so often. The herb chicken was pretty good.

Speaking of herbs...i sort of postponed a movie date due to schedules. And I suppose "Crazy Stupid Love" was not a good movie to watch with a boy. I chose Conan the Barbarian instead. I don't suppose I want to watch a chick flick with a guy, and not even to send a message. In my [humble] opinion, chick flicks are better enjoyed with your girl friends, or in the privacy of your own room so you can bawl like a kid whose super colorful sticky-sweet Halloween/Valentine candy got taken away from him or her at Christmas. (lol....)  Well, you get the idea. It kind of sends the wrong message too. Watching a chick flick doesn't have the Cupid's arrow effect, not even of suggestion, at least not for me...I have a pericardium of steel...but with marshmallow soft centers. haha:-)

So, Conan the Barbarian it is. :-)

I just found out (because he told me) that one of the interns who rotated in Psychiatry some months ago, yup, Jim with the [*sigh* beautiful] fountain pen is probably going to be assigned in my hometown, or if not there, in Cebu, at least. He asked me about the places in my province, and said that maybe he would want to start a career there. It was funny, here I was, seeking new places to train, and to have an adventure, and here comes this guy who wants to go back there to have his own adventure...

LOL. I'm getting a flashback of that book I read back in grade school which was so popular....the "Choose Your Own Adventure" series? The ones where you get to pick where you want to go next and continue flipping pages until you either die, or win? :-p I hung out in the grade school library for hours on those kinds of fare, and what-not.

Anyway, I must be boring you. It's late...no wait, early. It IS 3Am after all...and I have to go to work in a few hours.

You've been a great audience. Gnite.

Love,

S.

P.s. I wanted to apologize to someone for doing something that wasn't very nice. And, my friend Joe tells me that I've grown so skinny, I was even cachectic. eww. But I am so not. I think.

On certain journeys

LRT, Manila. August 5,2011. Photo by: RD Laxina.

Certain truths, especially those that we actively seek, can be heartbreaking. Like everything else in life, it takes courage to accept things that we cannot change.

We will all have to take some journeys alone eventually. Fortitude does not come easy. The Strength of mind that allows one to endure pain or adversity with courage. “ cannot be achieved in a single day. 

This picture was taken by my cousin Ruville while we were taking the train one time. I saw this one, and I can’t remember what I was thinking in it while she was using my camera that day, but it did remind me of the way I feel about things right now.


Things happen for a reason, to teach a valuable lesson, and hopefully, just hopefully, make way for something better.

~ S.

Video: Do you love me?

 

 

sometimes, I wish I was proletarian when it comes to love and loving. and that everything would come easier for me.

but I’m so not, and thus, life is a little more complicated.

This was from Fiddler on the Roof.

Anyway, good night.

Photo: I could fall in love with you

 

A biracial couple at dinner. August 22, 2011.

Pain

This afternoon, I made a grown man cry.

I could not help it. I am appalled by how patients with mental illness are being treated in their own communities because they are misunderstood. This particular patient I knew was apprehended by the law, but the details of it, I cannot discuss.

The grown man was the boy's grandfather. He only cried after he realized that he shouldn't have left the boy in the care of other people who did not know any better. "Care" is not even the right word. They just let him be.

It's easy to dismiss people with mental illness as not being as big a deal, or as big an emergency as a heart attack, or a stroke...or even a fever. And you know what hurts me the most? he got beaten up, I was told...  and he didn't even know what was happening to him, or why they were doing that to him.

I know I should be objective, and not get attached, but I'm writing about this because I think people with mental illness should be given the same rights and be treated with the same respect as other "normal" people. Is it really too much to ask?

If this were your brother...or your father, or your uncle, or whomever it is you care about, could you stand to see it that they be treated like animals because nobody understood them?

People fear things that they cannot understand.

There needs to be major changes around here.. And it starts now.

who needs pictures?

In the last few scenes of "The Rebound", this song starts playing. My initial reaction was that it was a vaguely familiar song...and that it made me feel like smiling. But I couldn't remember where it was from.


and then it hit me. Boy with guitar. over the phone. heebie jeebies.


"Who needs pictures, with a memory like mine?"

(oh when will it ever end? :-( )

---------------

Everytime You Go Away. (Hall and Oates)

Baby, if we can't solve any problems
Why do we lose so many tears?
Oh, so you go again
When the leading man appears
Always the same theme
But can't you see we've got everything going on and

Everytime you go away
You take a piece of me with you

Go on and go free
Maybe you're too close to see
I can feel your body move
But does it mean that much to me
I can't go on singing the same theme
"Cause you can't see we've got everything
Baby, even though you know that

Everytime you go away
You take a piece of me with you
You just don't care 


---------- 


love, 


S. 

Thanks, Vivz

Just recently, my best friend Ivy came to Manila. Her sister Ann and Loreen had just passed the medical boards, and I just recently had a birthday...so we ate out.

Steak dinner. Coffee. Lots of laughs. (The usual Fun-with-Ivy-Guevs time.)

And then her younger sister Ann and Loreen went off to go somewhere and we were left alone on the soft chairs.

And after thinking a while, I asked, "Say Vivz, will you ever get tired of me talking about...stuff?"

And she goes, "Nope. I may not always agree with you, but I don't think I'll ever get tired."

And I go, "Ok, cool. Thanks. I think it'll take a little while longer than I thought."

"Let's talk about the trip, then!"

------

(we've been friends since we were both 13, actually. But it's funny. we've never had a scuffle/fight/whatever. I reckon it's either I'm non-confrontational, OR, we're just both too cool. :-) )

(She got that name because when Antoine mentioned that she looked like that CNN Anchor Veronica Pedrosa, and then I started calling her that. and it stuck.)

lucky me.

Love,

S.

To be in love

Prayer Candles. Quiapo, Manila. August 2,2011. (Photo by: S.)

 

 To Be In Love (By Gwendolyn Brooks)

To be in love 
Is to touch with a lighter hand. 
In yourself you stretch, you are well. 
You look at things 
Through his eyes. 
A cardinal is red. 
A sky is blue. 
Suddenly you know he knows too. 
He is not there but 
You know you are tasting together 
The winter, or a light spring weather. 
His hand to take your hand is overmuch. 
Too much to bear. 
You cannot look in his eyes 
Because your pulse must not say 
What must not be said. 
When he 
Shuts a door- 
Is not there_ 
Your arms are water. 
And you are free 
With a ghastly freedom. 
You are the beautiful half 
Of a golden hurt. 
You remember and covet his mouth 
To touch, to whisper on. 
Oh when to declare 
Is certain Death! 
Oh when to apprize 
Is to mesmerize, 
To see fall down, the Column of Gold, 
Into the commonest ash.

----------------------------------------------- 

Loreen and I were at the mall earlier, and I chanced upon this poetry in a book that I bought in the Book Sale earlier. Pulitzer prize-winning Gwendolyn Brooks' work is a find for me today.

There's someone who wrote an analysis of this poem. i'm too sleepy to write my own as of now, so please, click on this link. 

"...You are the beautiful half of a golden hurt" as a line...is simply, gold. 

I love this poem.

 Me, being a book junkie. (I absolutely love smelling the stuff.)

Oh, and they sold this Kubler-Ross classic for only 45 pesos. yum.

Anyway, I'm sleepy.

Good night.

Love, 

S. 

 

Photo: The Street Crooner

Street Singer. August 13, 2011.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At any given time, there is a singer on the Pedro Gil side of the hospital. This guy sang a really amazing version of Freddie Aguilar's "Anak"...which I think even sounded better than the original.
I just had to take a picture...after dropping a donation, of course.
Props.
He had soul. (He was a regular BB King.) :-)
 No wait, Stevie Wonder.

Photo: The fool's moon.

Moonlight over an empty house. Ermita, Manila. August 14,2011.

This picture was better in real life, and up-close. The moon was shining so brightly, that it made the empty house seem all the more eerie... Trust me, I scare easily, but this time, I was especially confident because my friends were nearby when I took this picture.

I could almost imaging a creepy face bursting out of the shadows all of a sudden...

and...

nevermind.

I sleep alone in my bed  pa naman.

(I think I'm being a fool, really. :-c )

And yes, this was a scary house. It was so eerily perfect, one could not imagine that it was right smack in the middle of the city. 

~ S. 

Video: Ides of March

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I knew it was a song... well, an instrumental one, at least. Pops had me download this one time. :-)

Birthday Bits. :-)

I’ve never denied it.

The reason why I like birthdays so much is that I get presents and lots of love and attention. 

;-)

I’m still a big kid.

Getting birthday presents never gets old for me. The novelty of being given a present and being thought of as special on my birthday will always score high in my book. J I’ll never grow tired of birthdays, because I always feel that there is something good to look forward to every time. Honest. I don’t know if I’m just being hypomanic about it, but as every year passes, I’ve noticed that I’ve always seemed to look a little better, feel just a tad bit better about myself, and realize that, hey, I have done a little more of what I have always wanted to do.

It’s a pretty cool thing, actually.

Kaya lang, the thing with being my age (29+1, haha) is that it sort of falls into the category of what Filipinos culturally refer to as “getting knocked off the calendar”…a metaphor for being “old before my time”…more colloquially, being a candidate for spinsterhood, or old maid status.

I have to admit, I have pondered upon this little cultural morsel of a norm, myself. Being the non-conformist that I try to be, I’ve taken stock and realized that, “Hey, it might not be so bad, after all…” Believe me, I have looked in the mirror and have left, convinced that:

1. I don’t get pimples anymore (ok like maybe just once a year )

2. My boobs are fine

3. I’m 121 lbs still

4. My hair has no hint of grey in it (recently I’ve had it waxed, and now it’s a spunky red color which looks better in the sun)

5. My ass is not sagging (haha, partly because there is not much butt to sag in the first place?)

6. I get to wear more pretty dresses.

7. I live in a really nice place that I pay the rent and utilities for with my own money

8. I can do whatever I want when I need to do so. J

9. And I have a lot of things to smile about.

I suppose I don’t look my age, and I’d like to believe other people don’t too. Like, for example, on the day after my birthday, I stayed late at the ward, because I had to do rounds on some patients… while writing down in the chats, one of the nurses, Sir John B said to me, “Happy birthday pala, doctora..” We chatted a bit when I was done, and it turned out that he also turned 32, the day before my birthday (the 13^th of August), when I saw him wheel his wife into the hallways to be checked. He thought I was of the same age group as Mer, one of my co-residents, who is in the 25 year-old age bracket. I grinned, pleased. I took the surprise as a genuine friend thing. Sir John B wasn’t the type who would hit on me, of all people.

It was a nice birthday, one of the nicest, so far. I didn’t miss family as much as I thought, because I realized that I had ended up with people I now consider family, as well.

I was on-duty at the hospital that time (august 12-13), so when the clock struck 12, I pretty much was in the hospital, doing my thing. My co-residents Trina and Pearl surprised me with a cake and the birthday song. And I got to blow out my candle. (Heck, I even made a wish. :-) ) And then, blissfully, I got to sleep most of the day, was able to get my hair done, just for the heck of it, and then afterwards, got to have birthday dinner with my good friends Chamie, Tope and even Baby Promise. J Love, love all around. Promise coughed out a little milk on my shirt. Manang Bebang was especially fussy (I call her “Manang B.”, actually, kinda like Manang Edith back home, who I call, “Manang E.”haha, anyway…) And then after that, I went out with a couple of friends near where I live, and then finally, said goodnight to the world, a very happy girl. J Very. Very. Happy. J

----------------

Anyway… speaking of presents, I got some on my birthday (and before and after).

Pistachio ice cream and a birthday cake from Chamie and Tope, a mocca crunch cake from Trina and Pearl (who brought it to me at midnight, with a matching “happy birthday” rendition, which I totally love!) an aromatherapy set-up from Aleah, a quadri-color retractable pen from my friend Rommel, another metal retractable Parker pen from my friend Atty. (whose messenger boy delivered it to the Psych department office), a colorful comforter set for my bed (which I absolutely love!) from my Pa, Ma and little bro (I asked for a comforter for my birthday, actually, which made me wonder if I really was starting to be domesticated.)

Oh, and there were also other birthday presents that were not really presents… lol. It’s a different category altogether, but for posterity’s sake, I’d like to mention them anyway. 

Perhaps my favorite non-birthday present of all is the coffee table book of “National Geographic Greatest Portraits” that one of my friends found in a Book Sale. I fell in love with it the first time I saw it, and so I asked him for it.

I somehow got the fantasy that if somebody really knew me, he’d know that I loved taking pictures of people more than anything else, and that he’d get me such a book. That he knew that I love people and their lives. Their stories…or that he knew I loved color and faces…and emotions. (And no, not fashion photography at all). That would be like, the most thoughtful gift ever.

LOL. But I digress. Actually, my friend got it for himself, so he could explore “portraiture”, but since it was almost my birthday, he couldn’t say no to me “coveting” the thing. Refusals have no place in this birthday girl’s world, mind you.

Another of my friends from the hospital wanted to take me out to lunch (and when that didn’t happen, dinner) because I was having a birthday. Which I think is sweet, and pretty cool, but since this girl’s been a social butterfly (when not asleep) for most of that day, I couldn’t say yes. He baked me a Carrot Cake instead. The effort is touching, and I feel immensely flattered.

But, I don’t eat carrots. :-s

(Nor do I eat boiled eggs, liver, onions, avocado, or squash, but hey, that’s another story.) 

Who knows, maybe next time, he’ll come up with something else. From what I’ve heard, he happens to be a really good cook, they say.

---------

A really nice surprise came in the mail. My cousin Lala, who’s the same age as me, had sent me a letter in mail. I’ve always loved letters…why, one time, when I was asked what I would like, I answered “Flowers, or a letter.” Hers was an especially good one. A perfect picker-upper. :-)

Lala is one of my best friends…we grew up together, and she’s always been around for me, even though I secretly wanted to be as girly as she was when we were younger. I was an awkward and gangly, half-boy, half-girl. :-D Anyway, it is always nice to have people who love you no matter what.

Even if it is on Facebook, the 300+ greeters made me feel like a million bucks. (Thank you.)

:-) 

You made me happy. 

Love,

S.  

 

August 12, 2011. Sunrise over Ermita. Photo by: Sonia.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in 

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e e cummings 

------------------------------------------ 

It was one of those early mornings when the sun was just slowly peeking through the clouds, eager to do its "morning rounds"when I took this picture. A few seconds later it had gotten too bright...and the light had become too harsh for my taste. I personally love orange sunrises...they inspire poetry. And what better poetry than e.e. cummings, whose particular simple verse evokes...stirrings.

I've always loved this e.e. cummings poem. It's rightfully corny, I suppose. :-) But I just like the idea of being of one breath, being of one heart and being one in mind with the one I love (which is the superficial interpretation). Love is when the other person matters more than you, as equally as you.

somewhere along that line, i suppose. :-p 

They say that romantic love is at its most intense when it is in the danger of being unrequited...

What do I think about it?

I don't really know. Sometimes we like to believe in cotton-candy spun dreams and tales of love...but sometimes a picture of a beautiful thing like sunrise beginnings could only be just that, a picture.

There are times when I brazenly scoff in jest that i've had enough of love ("...and all that bull-shet":-p), but really, deep inside (and in my blogger's heart), that sunrises are beautiful for a purpose, beautiful so as to inspire.

SO there.

------ 

And yes, I had a happy birthday. it was simply a happy day. With a perfect sunrise. :-)

Love, 

S. 

p.s. sunrises and poetry make me feel like mush... an evil combination. LOL.

Video: Paalam Na

It's funny, I only heard this on ASAP yesterday....and I haven't stopped whistling it, or thinking about it since yesterday.

rats.

(:-p These "sticky" songs should be banned. darn it. i can't help but like it, though. Kinda like that theme song they had for "Hiram"....now that, was sticky.)

Love, 

S. 

Snapshot. Me at 6.

I still can't get over it. haha...this is me at 6 years old, when I joined a town kiddie pageant...all forehead and ears. I didn't win, but I did win the "Best Speaker" award.  Go figure. :-) 

Happy Birthday to me.

:-) And yes, I posted this because aaminin ko na, if I was an ugly duckling then...I now feel like a swan.
LOL. :-)


Much love.

~ S.

"Eggplant omelette"

i forgot to eat dinner because i had back-to-back consults (yes, it happens sometimes) earlier this afternoon and until late evening...the only real food I ate were the peanut butter sandwiches a patient's mom gave me after our consult this afternoon.

Tired and crappy, I was (that's usually the case when I'm hungry, i get really "ugly".) I started to wonder about things...maybe I needed to take a leave and stuff, and was actually feeling pretty pathetic.

At first I couldn't figure out why I couldn't sleep even if I was so tired. I then remembered that I had forgotten to eat (or rather was too lazy/busy to go far to get food). After much tossing and turning, I decided to just go home, at 3 in the morning to where I live. There, I took a warm bath, and then cooked myself some nice white rice, and microwaved the eggplant omelette my ma sent me from home (I missed my mother's cooking, especially this one, because it was my favorite).

It was heaven, really.

Haha...warm eggplant omelette and piping hot rice. Oh, and soya milk, which i totally love super cold...at three AM! It'll lift anyone's spirits...

Sitting there, blissfully chewing my warm, and delicious comfort food, I remembered looking around and appreciating how nice it was to just sit there,warm and safe in my beautiful house (yes, I love it, but it is actually my aunt's), little by little getting sated.

Home-cooked food, as always, when done with lots of love...can make anyone's day better. :-)

----

So there I was, all showered and dressed in clean comfortable digs, and smelling better, in better spirits, walking back to the hospital. Behind me I heard really noisy footfalls, like slippers being dragged while walking. And I got nervous and quickened my steps, wanting to get to the hospital's side gate nearest to me just in case he/she may be some random dude or ruffian off the street.

When I got to the gate, I pushed it open and turned around to look...

Guess who I saw?

Surgeon boy with the nice hands.

:-)

Yup, surgeon boy who I found out walked noisily dragging his slippers, surgeon boy who was a lot taller than took him for (I only got up to around the level of his shoulders) ...and surgeon boy who I had to open the ward gates for ( because I was a few feet ahead of him, and I had gotten to the ward gates first).

LOL... I think it was a bit of a turn-off. but hey, he was just Surgeon boy, from the hospital. I don't think he was in under any obligation to  open the doors for me.

Anyway, I'm back here, and I noticed that I still have 1.5 good hours to snooze before I have to do rounds....which I think I can manage now. So, good night everyone, see you again in a couple of hours.

Peace.

S.

The tale of the birthday balloons

It was serendipity.


My finding the balloons, at least. I was reading at the common area of the building where I live when I started hearing the din. A caretaker in green was popping party balloons one by one. The birthday party that had been held in one of the function rooms nearby had apparently broken up and it was time to pack up. Balloons flying all over the place after a party were a no-no.

I looked up, and decided. With my iPad and papers in tow, I went over to the man in green, and said, “Sir, would you mind if I asked for those balloons?” I said, motioning to the string of pink, purple and white balloons he was popping one by one. He nodded, and then asked me if I would rather have the standing column of balloons of assorted colors instead.

I looked.

“Hmm…”, I mused. Nah. I wanted the balloons for a feather boa effect for some pictorial project I might have one of these days. So I got the strung-up “creature” without much effort nor hassle, after the caretaker handed it to me.

Fast forward to two days later when I had family stay over with me at my place… In the spirit of fun, my tita had me try clothes on and I got to bring out the balloons as a prop, which she saw in the foyer when they first arrived. She had asked me then why I had balloons in the house, and I grinned, telling her “For a pictorial, someday...”

It looks as if you were having a birthday party, or a debutante’s ball, she said, and I laughingly said, “I know, right?”

Anyway, instead of a party, I thought I’d spend my birthday (6 days away, more or less) doing something else, but come September, I’ll be going on a trip with my best friend to a place (well, 2 places, actually) we’ve always heard about, but never been to (but only here in the Philippines, of course.)

I recently got myself a new pair of glasses, because my old ones weren’t that clear anymore…and for comfort purposes, I got one that made me look like…





….a librarian.  But I don’t mind. anymore. who cares…they’re comfortable, they’re plastic and they feel heavenly because they’re feather-weight, and non-slip. Just perfect.

The balloons were a good prop, and I wish I can still be as fancy-free as this picture suggests,

 


because I’ve realized that as I’ve grown older, I’ve become more confident in my own skin,

and I’ve learned to embrace my own imperfections…



(O di ba bongga? Rakenrol, baby.:-p)


Just kidding. (Pardon the rather self-serving emotional blather, but hey, I don’t think I’ll ever grow old. And I can never be anyone else but me.)

Have a good evening, one and all.

Love,

S.

The Proust Questionnaire August 2011

This duty night, while waiting for another new referral from the emergency room/ambulatory unit/wherever in the hospital, I got some quiet time off. Supposedly, with the paperwork deadlines looming, and my video interview supposedly for show tomorrow, I'm expected to be neck deep in work. However, the call for "self-discovery" was just too much to ignore, so hey, here I am, answering this...

One of my fave reads is a blog called Topaz Horizon, and one time, Frances Amper Sales in her blog mentioned this concept of the Proust Questionnaire. I happen to like cross-sectional self-discovery views of myself, and with my birthday coming up in a few days, I'm welcoming the chance to take stock of my life. :-)

THE PROUST QUESTIONNAIRE

What is your greatest happiness?

Altruism, I suppose. I get a big kick out of seeing people I love happy and  satisfied with what I did for them.

What is your greatest fear?

It used to be losing my two front teeth, but these days, it’s not being able to make a choice. To be stuck in a dead-end situation. To lose my spirit.
 
What is the traits do you most deplore in yourself?

   I can be idealistic in some ways, and can stretch myself too thin without even realizing it. And I’m non-confrontational.
 
What is the trait you most deplore in others?

When they have a tendency to break promises and disappoint me.
 Which living person do you most admire?

 Dr. Phil. Ok, just kidding.

Ok, Gibo Teodoro in his heyday.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Things I need. Lol…like, i.e. I got me an iPad because “I need to bring my books around with me at all times.”  ;-)
What is your current state of mind?

I like to think that I’m happy, but there always seems to be something that’s missing. An added factor that would make me happier, add sprightliness to my step, and make me a whole better person. Oh, and worried, of course. I’ve got tons of paperwork for the upcoming months to do, and hopefully, just enough time to do it.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

False modesty. I like it better if people are more honest about themselves. i.e. if you’re good, then say so, no sense beating around the bush.  

On what occasion do you lie?

A little white lie…for when I know there is no need to hurt someone with such blatant, honest truth.

What is the quality you most like in a man?
In terms of non-tangible qualities, I’d say “Thoughtfulness”. (Because it takes a lot of smarts and experience and good heart to be intuitive.)  In terms of tangible/physical qualities, I love it when they’re tall, they have beautiful eyes, a great sense of humor and have nice… extremities.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

I think I respect the quality of self-love and confidence in a woman. A self-reliant woman who knows how to take care of herself and doesn’t take no…crap from anyone when she’s in the right, would have to be my choice.



Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“I reckon.” “Sure.” “Ok, cool.” “No biggie.” “Hay Ambot ah..” “Daw gaga ka” “Gaging.” “Eeek.”

“If I want to do something, I really will.” “I need a theme song.”  

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
The heart of my heart? 
When and where were you happiest?
Currently? June 23, 2010, in my condo (while I was applying for my present job), when I had this really cool epiphany.
Which talent would you most like to have?
oh, that’s easy. I’d love to be talented like Rosebud Benitez of “Quickfire: 10 minute wonders”, who can cook scrumptious stuff in 10 minutes without gaining a pound…or breaking a nail. Haha.
What is your favorite occupation?
 Talking to people I know I can help/Taking pictures/ Writing.
What is your most marked characteristic?

The call me “Bibo Kid” at work.  Go figure.

What do you most value in your friends?
Their positivity, their enthusiasm for life.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

I like Holden Caulfield. And Charlotte A. Cavatica. ß lol. Elizabeth Bennet. Jo from Little Women. Sabrina.  Oh, and the Khaleesi, Daenarys Stormborn, because she has serious balls.. ;-)

Who are your heroes in real life?
My mum, pop, Inse, Lolo, and my residency training chairman. 
What is that you most dislike?

I don’t like being taken for granted, I think.

What is your most treasured possession?

My heart,  my spirit. And joie de vivre. 

What do you regard as the lowest depths of misery?

Unrequited love. Trust me, it's the pits.

What is your greatest regret?
So far, nothing yet…I’ve always been stubborn, so I’ve always gotten to make my own choices. I thought perhaps, not being able to take up creative writing back in college, but then hey, my current job affords me all the magic (and fulfillment) I could ever need.
How would you like to die?
In the arms of the one I love, of course. I’m such a corny dreamer that way.

What is your motto?

I’ve always used Cicero’s “It is shameful to intercede without knowledge” for a while now  to sound like  a real smarty-pants, but I grew up with “Aim high and hit the mark.” From my auntie. For now, I’d say Carpe Diem, but that’s like, cheesy. :-)

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I had pictures, but they wouldn't upload. anyway, maybe it's a sign. Ok, back to work, it is. :-)

Love, 

S. 

Video: Say

I've always liked John Mayer. I like other songs, but this one's been stuck in my head all day. Cool one, right?

Oh hey, just a couple of thoughts...

The heavy manila rains have stopped, it's a bright new day, and my grand rounds patient is doing A-OK.

Oh, and Chamie and I got the top score in the Ego and Milieu exam.

My birthday is in 9 days.

and...

I'm bursting with fruit flavor. :-)

“Tender is the night”

…is the F. Scott Fitzgerald book I found at the National Bookstore sale pile earlier tonight when I was getting  supplies.

It only sold for Php 20.00. This has got to be the cheapest book purchase I’ve made yet…not counting the time that I bought a compendium of essays for, get this, 5 pesos.—honestly, I don’t know how they price books these days.

Granted, it was a hardbound copy, but ever since I’ve read F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, I’ve been an admirer. This work of his, although not a commercial success, is a particularly memorable one, as it is loosely based on the life of the author and his wife, when she was diagnosed with a mental illness. I can’t help but be drawn, because it is a topic particularly close to my heart.

On top of that, I finally found myself a copy of “One flew over the cuckoo’s nest” as well when I was out looking for blank CD’s. I don’t pride myself on being easily drawn by these cheap little modes of entertainment, but this is kind of a good thing too. I remember my father telling me about this Jack Nicholson film when I was a kid, and I think I even made him tell it to me and my brother as a bedtime story.  

Anyhoo, someone I know has both read the book and seen the movie, and claims that as a psychiatry resident, I should have already been able to see it, which makes this a lucky find (it was 25% it’s original price, can you believe that?)

Oh, and last…another find, a non-fiction book, with a Sybil type of theme, although this one has a different flavor. I’ll tell you one thing that’s for sure, though, I won’t be reading this at night, when I’m alone in the house. I scare easily. lol.

Speaking of Sybil, guess what…my supervisor (i,.e. the consultant who sees to my training), in one of our conversations told me that her brother-in-law was the actual lawyer who was mentioned in the book.

Pretty cool, huh? Talk about six degrees of separation…

I’m happy with the finds, though, and I spent less than 300 pesos for the whole shebang. (I’m currently watching the Jack Nicholson (my, he was a dish when he was younger, even the “evil eyebrows” are still pretty cool) movie, and will be reading the F. Scott Fitzgerald book in between work periods.

Good night!

Love,

S.