Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A reason?

I love the 7th floor.

Nothing ever happens here, but I love it anyway.

Today, I'm quietly enjoying the early afternoon breeze and just thoroughly doing some R&R near the pool. There's a study area/coffee table section that's empty except for myself. There are two other people on the lounge chairs, and there are two dudes swimming in the water (and no, they have not made me pause in my typing because they don't have chiseled abs.)

Anyhoo...that's not what's important. The fact is, I haven't been writing in a while, and now, a day which I call "free" (one of the last few ones), I've decided to just park my booty down here so I can get some writing done. There's free WiFi in this area, and the breeze is really nice. (You could almost believe that you weren't in the middle of Manila.)

(I'm taking advantage of the great amenities of my uncle's condo unit and maximizing my reclusive lifetstyle. But not cousin Gerard will be coming along in a while and we might watch a movie, or something.) I haven't really seen my friends this time around...I think i'm swearing off commuting for a couple of days after yesterday.

* sigh *

One of the requirements for a hospital I was applying for wanted me to get a psych test done, so I had to travel to Mandaluyong City and go into alleys and backways and just...find it. :-p As it turns out it was within a subdivision...and you'd never guess it was a psych testing facility.

The night before, I tried to look up "possibilities" in that psych test. I didn't find anything useful and maybe even didn't look hard enough to find what I wanted to look for. In a sense, I wanted to see if i could wheedle my way and get a good score on my psych test.

I didn't read enough. There was a situational/complete-this-sentence test (could be answered in English or Tagalog), an IQ test, a Minnesota, A Draw-a-Person test, and, my personal surprise favorite...the Rorschach Inkblot test. <-- I didn't see the bat or the butterfly, but I saw Napoleon the Boar from Animal Farm. <-- Uh-oh... I wonder what that means. (I only just looked up the results/interpretation this afternoon). I even said one card reminded me of the Jesus in Rio.

The Minnesota took a basically asked repetitive-themed questions, all 400 of them. I just wanted to get it over with, and it was getting dark and I just wanted to go home, and eat. or rest.

I took the MRT, but ended up getting on the wrong side. and had to go all the way to North Ave station (at the opposite end), and back to Taft Station. Geesh. That and all the walking around had me swearing off commuting for a, today, for example. I think I'll see Weng and JoeJoe tomorrow na lang. I just want to stay at home and maybe watch a movie later at the mall with Gerard.

Hey, I had a weird thought while commuting... i felt so "isolated" from everybody. Everyone was doing their own thing, and even though you were surrounded by all these people, it felt, well, lonely. Someone I know uses the word "Alienating".

It was weird, but I thought that if there really wasn't anyone worth staying for in such a sterile, empty (and not to mention hot and crowded) place like this, then maybe it wasn't worth it at all. (And maybe I won't always get to live in the condo.) You had to have a reason. And a damn big one. Or it wouldn't be worth it at all.

Anyway, it was a lonely moment, that one. It almost made me forget that i like adventure ever so often. (Have I matured?)

I actually haven't really decided where I want to go, because everything is happening so fast and there are many applicants for both programs... My good friend Karen, now a resident tells me that wherever I get accepted, that should count as a sign.


(So what do I want now?)


  1. i loved that pic from your window though. its truly spectacular :D

  2. "Hey, I had a weird thought while commuting... i felt so "isolated" from everybody. Everyone was doing their own thing, and even though you were surrounded by all these people, it felt, well, lonely. Someone I know uses the word "Alienating"."

    When you think about it, we are surrounded by literally thousands of total strangers whenever we commute.

    And then once in a while, in the midst of these unknown thousands, you spot a familiar face in the crowd. Or it spots you.

    I like to think our destinies work somewhat like that, Sonia. Out of the chaos of thousands of possibilities, you recognize one. Or it taps you on the shoulder.

  3. Sonia,

    I think we all have those lonely moments. But we feel other things, too. Like excitement, passion, fear, anger, love, boredom...

    And oh, I hope you decide well on what you want to do =)


    @Rudeboy: You haven't said anything as intense as this in a while.

  4. Daym, nothing like the smell of smog in the morning to open up them lungs eh.

    nag try ka daw PCMC sabi ni Yin? Peds?



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