Say what you need to say

Hello. :-) 

This morning, I was reading a friend’s blog, and I noticed my link on her “recommended readers” tab. It showed the name of my blog, and under that was the title of my last entry, and the hard-hitting “Two Weeks Ago”.

Whoa.

Two weeks is a long time for me not to have written anything, I suppose. I’m usually very prolific and at times, I’d be writing every day, or at the least, every other day (of anything, and everything that’s ever happened to me.).

There is no greater entity, or major corporation behind this incessant need to “share” my life story, of course, just perhaps a wish to share a story, or give a different point of view. I can be fairly articulate when I want to be, although, I think this story-telling is as much a benefit for me as it is for you, dear reader. :-)

Speaking of story-telling, I love stories. I love being told stories, and I love telling them (albeit I prefer my medium to be paper…I like organizing my thoughts before presenting them, think of it as a mental “edit” before I actually say it, because I don’t want to embarrass myself by saying the wrong thing.

(It’s complicating things, really.)

Case in point. One time, I asked someone, “Why do you tolerate me?” , when what I really meant was, “Do you like me?”. (I figured, if he didn’t like me, it wouldn’t really be as seriously laying yourself out with the question, right?)  It’s like in blogging, I have to edit things first…go through things a couple of times before clicking “Publish”.

Foresight is important, and since you can’t take back what you said, and you can’t undo anything you’ve posted on the net, then you have to be extra careful. (But not too careful. Otherwise, you’d end up editing out too many details.)

I kept a blog during my days as a medical student, and having read through it recently, I’m glad I did it. It was a glimpse of what kind of a person I was in my early twenties (light and bubbly, footloose and fancy-free.;-)) and all the things that I have been through at the time.  

Why do I write, and who do I write for?

Well…

I write to remember moments.

I write to update my mother (and my aunts and maybe some cousins and uncles. Lol…)

I write to tell my stories.

I write to purge the occasional sadness and melancholy that life can bring.

I write to share the joys that thankfully outnumber the lows.

I write because I can’t pen and send a love letter. (I write in part, to an unknown boy, who absolutely has no clue how I feel about him. For lack of a better description, he both rocks my world, and makes it absolutely peaceful, all at the same time.  Well, I actually am not, nor have I been “with” him, so I suppose this is just a flight of fancy. Anyway, who cares, right? He can never know, and I’m not about to admit it. :-p

I write when I’m angry…and edit afterwards, of course. ß old habits die hard. :-)

And I write because I just needed to say what I needed to say…

~ S.

P.S. Also, I’m about to start training, and I’m absolutely scared shitless. Here’s to hoping I’ll grow balls of steel at some point in the next few months. :-)

Good morning, everyone!