Thursday, September 17, 2009

It's just a little crush

Talk about serendipity...

I was online during lunchtime yesterday, just checking out my Facebook pages when somebody I knew from Medical school suddenly messaged me and said Hi. It was a nice surprise.

I used to have a big crush on him for a time.

He was a good-looking, smart (very smart), athletic, talented guy who had a bit of the Bad boy vibe going. By some funny quirk of fate, he was always carrying around a camera and seemed to be perpetually snapping pictures of everyone and everything (like me). I also heard that he was into reading the classics (like, well, ahem, me?). Moreover, the fact that he was around 5'10" was just frosting on the cake.

He was the friend of a good friend of mine, and, being the curious creature that I am, I of course, quite subtly (hopefully), grilled my friend for positively any useful tidbit of information about him. Although I'm particularly obsessive about detail, my powers of attracting males are only up to wishful thinking and obsessive detail-finding. (Translated: Hindi ako malandi sa crush. * smile * )

Aside from all the other previously-mentioned "attributes" the thing I liked about him was that he was a laid-back, down-to-earth funny guy who was comfortable speaking in Cebuano (my, his dialect) as he was speaking in English, as well as being able to carry off that puffy afro and alternately a skinhead 'do with equal panache. (I'm a suckafoo for that skinhead 'do.)

There was one occasion where he gave me a rose. It was long-stemmed, red, and when he gave it to me, I thought it to be very beautiful. It's beauty was magnified by the fact that I was flattered, of course, and that I liked him.

Crushes in the workplace (or in my case, school) always seem to spice up the work environment. There was this study where they reported that having crush objects in the workplace significantly increased (and improved) performance output. It's true for my part, having a crush always gives me a subconscious desire to do my jobs even gives me a positive attitude and a spring to my step.

...But back to crush thing with the aforementioned guy, nothing ever came out of it, you know. It was only a crush. And besides, this "object of my affection, nay, admiration" fell in love with one of his classmates and they ended up together, which, of course, made him strictly off-limits in my book.

I don't resent that happening, though. And besides, she's a great girl. It wasn't a big disappointment because "no emotional roots had sunk into the ready crust of my idealistic heart" anyway. Roughly translated, that meant, it was too soon to tell if there really was anything going on between us, and I considered it just a harmless infatuation for my part.

Nevertheless, it was an important (and essential) lesson to learn. Some people are just not meant for you, even if you wish them to be. Or, even if you try your hardest, or wish with all your heart, things don't always turn out like you want them to...


I learned my lesson the hard way, in the most painful way possible. And by learning, I don't mean this one. Yet, if did involve an infatuation,a crush that became something more...and resulted in a world of hurt.


  1. Aruy. His loss.

    Uhmm maybe he's gay?!

  2. ' i love the way you were able to create balance between what's true and not, between what can be achieved and what's unattainable. there will be always that person who we shall find "ideal" but it's so ideal na alam natin di para sa atin..
    - and it sucks indeed that we have to learn our lessons the hard way.. but maybe like a phoenix, we need to get burn first before we cud rise from the ashes. cool read you got here doc! i'll be back for more! keep 'em coming! =)

  3. @L.A. : Not at all...he's all male, 100% true blue son of Adam, so to speak. I never had a doubt. :-)

    @theLastJedi: Thank you for the great feedback, that's very nice of you. I'm a fan of your work. Sometimes we just have to content ourselves with the fact that we won't always get what we wish for...but we should keep wishing/hoping anyway. Who knows, there might be something better in store.:-p

  4. I agree with theLastJedi. I'd also like to add that knowing and accepting that the person is off-limits is a major step and for that, you have my respect. I guess you have to wait for the love that's meant for you -- in God's time, this person will come. Hopping from theLastJedi's blog.Ü

  5. @Russ: Thanks! Let's just say that I never push things when my gut feeling tells me not too. Besides,I have ownership issues...i.e. if they're "owned", i don't go looking for trouble. At the back of my head, there's always this healthy fear of "Tita Carmi". hehe.



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