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Monday, December 12, 2011

Talking to the moon


"Moonshine".  December 12, 2011. Ermita, Manila. 

I’ve had a session in supervision today… my supervisor came over to the department and we saw one of my long-staying patients, one of the most difficult cases I’ve had so far. She’s been admitted almost 5 weeks (our target is acute care – 2weeks.).
The visit from the supervisor was a great help, especially in cases like these. I entertained a neurological problem, but the scans were clean. I was kind of grasping at straws, but as per request, I think I’ll have to change medications to a faster acting neuroleptic.
(The gratification for one’s work in psychiatry is of the much-delayed type. It can take months. Years. Sad smile)
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One of the nurses at the ward, has a sort of “gift”. I’ve never really explored it, but sometimes, just for fun, we ask him for a “reading”. With almost crystal ball-accuracy, he can give you a reading of your current state of affairs. When I was in the ward earlier and waiting for a procedure to be done, I asked him, “Hey sir, does your spirit guide have any message for me today?” and I chuckled.
He smiled, and thought for a little while… while I worked on some paperwork. Presently, he said to me, “You seem sad..like you’re walking around in sort of a daze. Your happiness should not depend on anyone, or anything for that matter…it should come from within.”
I guess he’s right…I’m pretty tired. And I've been really tired lately…
And then a few minutes later, he comes up to me and says, “Ma’am, I think I remember what I told you before, ‘If you settle for something right now, that’s all you’ll ever do, and that’s all you’ll ever get.’ “  I just gave a small smile, and said thanks. I mused about it, of course… I’ve realized, ever since he first said it, that I tended towards settling.
Maybe it’s time to think about myself and not about other things, or other people. Settling is not good…I deserve to be in a situation that would make me the best person I could be, and the happiest.
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I had a camera discussion with a friend earlier.
Yes, my Lumix is a beauty, and when I’ll have time, I’ll go do boulevard sunset shots, and shoot my favorite subjects.
People.
By the way, I took that picture above while listening to Sara Bareilles’ “Wherever the Wind Blows” when I got home tonight. I’ve been trying out the different settings.
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Oh, and by the way, when I get stressed, I tend to sleep a lot.

Love, 

S.

P.S. The inspiration for the title came from Bruno Mars'. "Talking to the moon". <- Which is like somewhere out there, but more hiphop. ;-)

3 comments:

  1. may I borrow the photo for my blog? -g

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sure G. just send me a link and tag me on the pic.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Im having second thoughts about sending the link and tagging you. But Im ff instructions.
    Here:
    http://gtrack.tumblr.com/post/14149762636/moonshine-december-12-2011-ermita-manila

    g

    ReplyDelete

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