before the goodbye.

I feel a bit melancholy tonight...

After reading Cecelia Ahern's book, "Love, Rosie", I thought I'd rest my mind from thinking about the myriad of activities this week, and worrying about them... but the opposite effect rang true. I got sadder and sadder with every page.

I love speed reading, so I read it like a race care driver would do his laps...chapter after chapter, until I realized that it was dragging on too long, and the denouement was so agonizing.

*sigh*

And then I went outside and stared out at the city which I have grown to love over the past four years (and apparently always have in my heart, since I was a child), and I felt even sadder.

From my balcony, the lights were twinkling, the wide landscape was alight with different pinpoints of color. I had my starry sky right there in front of me... Then there was the "cacophony" of sounds that never bothered me from this height....in fact, it was as much a relaxing white noise than the beaches... 

I'll be leaving soon, and going back to my hometown. And it pains me so much because I know I'll have to leave it all behind.It was a great four years....of learning, of freedom, of choices made, of promises, and of being broken and made whole again over and over. 

 and I don't know when I'm coming back...

Perhaps my peace is here...and not among the crashing waves, nor the cacophony of pedicabs, or the harsh sun...

Yes, I am sad tonight.