Monday, October 25, 2010

While you were sleeping

While you were sleeping. Ermita, Manila. October 23, 2010.

Dear Manila,

You've always taught me a thing or two about life.
And while you were sleeping, I learned some more.
Life is as we make it, there are no accidents, everything we do leads to another; consequences of our own accord...
I learned that you can't make someone love you if they don't...and vice versa.
And that it always pays to listen, to pay attention...
and to remember that No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
That sometimes, we have to give up what we want, so we can focus on what we need.

And that not all "signs" are signs...we just feel them to be so.
And not to put too much thought in people's intentions...not everyone is as easy to read as a book.
And that oftentimes, we should be thankful for small blessings (and big ones) that we get day to day,
like living rent-free in a homey place (c/o the graciousness of a groovy aunt and uncle), having friends nearby to visit, and having everything i need when i need it.

and less seriously,
I've learned that eggs taste better with less salt, if you're eating it with tocino.
and that sometimes rice needs one more cup of water than the usual for it to cook properly...

that half a kilo fetuccini is...a lot, when cooking
and that one should always shower after using the pool,
that paperwork needs to be done, and right it doesn't pile up unnecessarily.
That maybe it is alright to make mistakes in long as you'll eat it yourself (because that's how you'll learn).
That Auntie Anne's pretzels are yummy,
That smoking is not good, stress-relief or not.
That everything can be done and completed...but at the rate of one at a time.
That fish should be checked for freshness by judging how stiff they are...
that tomatoes should be soft and round when you buy them...
that the salad bar at the grocery section doesn't sell it at "eat-all-you-can" for Php 22.50 only (but by weight)
That the Meralco office is just a walk away,
and that having someone do your laundry saves you time to do more things for yourself.

(And that it is better to think in Tagalog so you won't have to break a sweat so much when you talk.)

Ah Manila, you will always be a good memory.

I hope never to learn the anguish of getting my pocket picked...
of losing my ATM card...
of getting lost and not having money in my pocket...
of not having enough money...
of being conned (although my lola would use the word Boodle-boodle)
of not getting into the training program at UP-PGH
of being attacked by a psychotic patient,
or fall in love with a boy who won't love me back...

One of these days, i'll learn not to be too transparent,
not to give too much of myself,
to work harder,
to use humor more to deal with the unbearable hurt,
to anticipate and be ready for  the inevitable,
to not hate, even if i someone tells me i might,
to love myself as much as I want to be loved.
to know when to say no...
to never settle for less than what i deserve.
to be brave enough to face the consequences  (and triumphs) of my actions,
to not be all talk, but more of action (;-))
to realize when i am indeed waiting in vain.

and maybe, just an added extra?

I want to relearn what it is like to wake up with a giddy, excited smile...
to hold someone's hand, finger to finger, and palm to palm,
to feel sure that i am loved, and loved for who i am,
(and not because of my boobs, or butt, or lips, or legs...not that that's ever happened, at masyado akong feeler, di ba.hehe)
to laugh until tears run down my cheeks and I am out of breath.
to feel secure in someone's strong arms , and [wide, but not fat] chest. (haha, specifics.tall is welcome.)

and to get the perfect sunset picture one day,


to always be early for an appointment.

(which is at 9AM, Buendia Station, today, with Joe, Chamie, Roxanne and Tope for the trip to Tagaytay. which means i can't start by getting late now. bye. )



  1. That's a nice morning prayer.

    I hope you enjoy your day trip with your friends, Sonia.

  2. thanks for including my blog in your list. this post is a very inspiring one. i'd love to read something like this every time i feel like my life is going nowhere.

  3. nice photo :) if only it was fog instead of smog.

  4. i still long for you manila... even if.... ;)



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