The return

August 27th, 2009
7:00 PM
Thursday
Dinner Table


I haven't been writing for a while now...the last time i wrote here was a month ago when I decided I wasn't going to write anymore for a while because of the upcoming board exams.


The boards have come and gone, and yes, I have passed, with a better performance than I expected. ( In fact, I had just gotten back from the PRC after spending the whole day waiting in line and breathing the same air with close to a thousand other new docs. :-p I'm expecting my license card to arrive in the mail in a few days... )


I don't have much longer to stay in "My Favorite City", and I'm concerned about the next few steps I am going to take in life. So, it was a spur of the moment decision to just stay in my auntie's condo unit atop a mall, everything's easier to comprehend from the vantage point of the 27th floor...with hardly any voice to listen to except that of a soulful singer's crooning on the radio, or the silent din of the traffic below, and of course, the thumping voice of my own heart...

I was supposed to stay at my uncle's home in Paranaque, a comfortable behemoth of a house with my Auntie Linda's delicious home-cooking, with unlimited internet time, and the company of cousins...however, instinct decided against it... I needed a few precious days to explore and to rethink about how I am faring in life..


In solitude and alternating silence and music, I am happy. I may desire human company again, but right now, I feel the urgency to relearn things that make me happy again... I sleep until 4AM sometimes,with no one telling me that it was late and I needed to go back to bed, I would lounge for a good hour (or two) in the luxurious bathwater if I wanted to, I drink as much coffee as I want from pre-bought stores (thank you very much, Uncle Eric) and I can stand motionless in the balcony, in silent wonder of the beauty of the vast expanse of twinkly lights of the cars in traffic, the nearby train and the buildings, all spread out beneath me, stretching out as far as my eye can see...


I can breathe in the city air, and if i think hard enough about it, I can even feel the life that pulsates beneath me, teeming, living, expansive and dynamic... and of course, maybe even dangerous.


I'm doing this because after such a long time of being bound by responsibility, I want to know what it's like to enjoy the simplest of joys that other people would otherwise take for granted..

..singing at the top of my lungs to Taylor Swift's "Love Story" shamelessly,
...having casual text conversations until 3am...
...dancing around the unit with freshly-washed hair in an old shirt and ratty shorts....


...and of course, having the time to sit down, and put my favorite black Parker fountain pen to paper, luxuriating in the delightful happiness that is writing.

Ladies and gents, Sonia...er, I mean, Dr. Sonia, has returned.

:-)