Question: If you marry someone do you think 58 years ahead?

fifty-eighth!

I just got home from my grandparents' house for their anniversary dinner. It was a simple one, with just the usual, immediate family members who could make it, but the food was yummy, nonetheless. :-) My tita made some good strawberry cheesecake, which was a hit, and another tita bought custard cake, which became the "anniversary" cake that came with candles, which, of course, my cousin Nate blew out when the pictures were taken.

Fifty eight...wow. Fifty eight is almost a lifetime for some people...for my grandparents, it is only a mark, an age of their years together. Both of them are in their early 80's, and have had 8 children together (my mother being the second kid, and eldest girl). 

As with everything 50, we celebrated their Golden Wedding anniversary eight years ago, all bedecked in gold threads (of course the motif was gold), complete with a party with their friends and family invited. It was a fun party, and we still pictures of it around.

My grandparents are fun people, really, and even now, I can't really believe that they really are octogenarians. They've been around for me as long as I can remember (I was the first grandchild) and since I see them regularly, I don't really notice much change, except for the usual aches and pains and their medical needs, but they are basically the same, dependable, loving grandparents. I've got no complaints, really... I think I've pretty much had "storybook" grandparents. :-)

Storybook, but not perfect, although they are what grandmothers and grandfathers should be like when you need them. I mean, my grandmother is nice and chubby and has the nicest huggable tummy ever. She is absolutely positively...Nummy. :-p And by nummy, i mean, very nice to hug and cuddle with. :-p AND she cooks me my favorite food (it was a no-miss everytime i'd be home from Iloilo). My grandfather, on the other hand is not very huggable (he's skinny), but he is one of the smartest, wisest men I know. He was city treasurer before retiring, one of those bookkeeper types who are very precise and structured. He was quite the provider...he was the sole breadwinner and still managed to get all his 8 children to graduate at Silliman University. (I mean, 8 kids, whoa. You don't get that a lot anymore these days.:-))

Anyway, my lolo is the type of guy you could just be quiet with...or, talk about anything with. Heck, I even talk to him about boys. :-p In most ways, he is as good a secretkeeper as a doctor...or better. The secret stops with him, that's why I have no qualms about telling him stuff, necessary stuff. I think it is easier to talk to someone who is a good listener and who is non-judgmental. 

My usual way is, when we'd be sitting out on the porch when i visit, and he'd be sitting at his rocking chair, I'd usually open with, " Lo, I need to tell you something..." They'd range from talking about getting my heart broken, or talking about this new guy, or heck, even financial advice. :-) Lolo always has something useful to say, some very helpful advice to give. And honestly, they have worked every time.

He doesn't get around much, though, he has emphysema from "stress-smoking" all those years, and he has a veritable pharmacopeia he deals with everyday. He manages, though. He has a pretty good retirement plan, saved up from all those years of being a "boxer". <-- very very good at savings. :-p

My grandparents are at this age where most of the people they know have "moved on to other things". Still, they are doing quite well for their age (and for their condition, my grandfather's, especially). Although they haven't started asking about when I'm going to give them great-grandchildren*, I'd surely love for children I'm going to have someday to still be able to meet and experience growing up with them.

I suppose it would be too much to ask, but honestly, I would love that.

     (* I think my younger cousin Lemuel is going down that avenue earlier than I am, at the rate I'm going, though. But still, you never know. :-p)

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I heard this song in a store in the mall this afternoon. It is probably more about a song about loss, but it could also mean (well, for me at least) that if someone or something was meant to be, it would eventually work out. :-) The negative side would be, that if you spent too much time dwelling on that "what if" and you waste your time, that would be bad too. 

But that is a nice line, isn't it? 

"No matter where life takes me, I'll meet you there..."

But the disclaimer is..."IF you believe in destiny..."

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And that's all for now, folks. 

I've got a 5:30AM bus trip to catch tomorrow so I can get to work by 7AM (instead of the usual 9AM) because one of the doctors at my hospital asked me to cover, and receive his endorsement early.)

I'm the newbie, can't complain.

:-S

Anyhoo, goodnight!

~ S.

A Letter from a Beloved

My Dearest, 

 "Times are hard, the road to visit me may be tough. You may not always get the best seats, nor the most comfortable rides..."

 

"...and when you finally do get there, you may be given a persuasive welcome. People will thrust their wax wares at you, coaxing you to buy them...please do, your candles are "prayers", and "remembrance"..."

 

 And, if they're not meeting people, they're usually camped out at a spot very conveniently at the edge of the cemetery... If you haven't yet gotten enough candles, get a little more..."

 

"Say a prayer for me..."

"Pray for yourself, your happiness, and mine..."

 

"I miss you, and you don't know how much..."

 "We'll light candles by the thousands, a testament of remembrance..."

 "This sea of graves, is really all about paying tribute to those who 

have come before you.."

 

"It has been years and you have never loved another..."

"Grant us a blessing..."

"You may get me a cute little flower in a pot.."

"...bring me a whole bunch

"Bring me flowers that'll stand up to the rains and harsh noontime sun..." 

"...or even break me off a stem."

 

"But what I'd really love are daisies and wildflowers...with bursts of  color..."

"Gather around, and talk of me, happily..."

 

"Take joy, be merry, and remember me..."
 

"Light me a candle for the many years that we were apart..."

"And, even if you grow up, on the brink of your successful new life..."

"...in the hustle and bustle of daily life, do not forget."

 

"I could very well end up lonely..."

"...or with the people I loved in my life then..."

" or maybe I would be with the one I promised to spend my life with..." 

 "Blue may be my favorite color..."
 

"And my headstone may read of amusing things..., some people can't help but laugh,"

"...that does not matter, what is important is you watch over me." 

 

"The trees are silent witnesses to decades of tears..."

 

"...and even though death may be the final curtain call..."

 "My love will be in the breeze, the trees, and the blooms that dot the  gravesides..."

 

"The candle boys are little, who have a big job...

 

 

They tell interesting innocent stories..." 

   'Eventually, it will be time to leave...and all that will be left for me will be the Guardian Moon..."

"...the candles will dwindle to almost nothing." 

  
"But thank you, for coming, and remembering..."

"Thank you for the love... "

 

Love, 

(your loved one's name)

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I was at the cemetery with my mother this afternoon, to attend the mass at the cemetery grounds and to light candles. I had my camera then and most of the time, I was taking pictures as we went around. I wanted to make a photo-essay when I got home, but I figured, it would be better to write from the perspective of a dead loved one, who would've written something like this, for when their family would visit them. (This may be my corniest post yet, but hey, I could almost be talking in my lola's voice here.)

The tradition fascinates me, and this annual event is something I try to attend when I can.For that single day, you treat and pray for dead family members and relatives, as well as friends like they were as tangible as you wanted them to. It's family day, a day to remember old loves.

I've been thinking, and I think that when I'd die, I'd prefer to be cremated. I told this to a friend of mine, who likened it to the Greek funeral pyres that honored heroes. :-) In my case, I don't want to be a hero...I just want to be more "mobile", able to go anywhere with the ones I left behind if they wanted me to, i.e. if my husband decided to go travel the world after I die, I'd be...handy. :-) haha. Seriously now, I'd probably convince my husband to get cremated, because, well, options are always good.

My Uncle Cris was cremated some years ago, and he's always a part of Tita Clar's personal effects when she goes travelling here to see us, or anywhere, for that matter. She misses him, but at least, he always with her. There is an element of unorthodoxy in that, since Catholics prefer burying their dead and giving a proper blessing, but I think, for my part, it would be more humane to undergo cremation. Donate viable organs, and THEN undergo cremation, if I chose to... well, that's from my point of view.:-)

What would yours be?

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Oh, and I never make anything up when I blog. Everything I say is honestly accurate.I'm currently pro-cremation, by choice.:-)